Tuesday, June 23, 2015

How To Ward Off Anger In An Aggressive World: Don't Be The Terrorist Within

Let's face it. In a world filled with anger, where we can so easily find reasons to be angry, it's no wonder we don't just walk up to people and just bop them over the head merely for existing.....right? This is how we should conduct ourselves on this Earth...correct? After all, food prices are going up, healthcare is diminishing, people have different hues of pigmentation, that bitch down the road purchased the last pair of designer jeans in my favorite department store.... Yep, those are indeed all solid and valid reasons to be angry for long periods of time.

Go ahead. Let me see your best grimace.

Oh for goodness sake, not that Grimace!! See now I'm getting angry. See how easy that was? Just get angry and all of your problems are resolved.

If that is your philosophy on living, I can tell you now that your lifespan diminishes with each adrenaline rush. The truth of the matter is, that anger can cause increased anxiety, high blood pressure and headaches. Moreover, there are a host of adverse health conditions that can arise when one decides to continuously let their blood boil. Here are some to name a few:

-digestion problems and abdominal pain
-skin disorders (i.e., eczema)
-heart attack

Taking A Spiritual Approach Can Help Reduce Sporadic Anger Attacks

One of my all time favorite spiritual leaders, Eckhart Tolle, who's profound teachings have changed the face of societal thought and behavior theorizes that anger can be considered "spiritual ignorance". While Tolle does not diminish the legitimacy that people find in selecting to be angry, he suggests that one should accept the situation as such, and recognize the condition for what it is. "There's vast amounts of evil still happening on the planet, which means suffering--humans inflicting on other humans, on other life forms, on the planet itself, on nature."

Rather than feeling angry, Tolle says to feel compassion. "You can come to a place of compassion when you see that people are unconscious. They don't know what they are doing" he states. "Once you see that, you can come to a place of compassion for those people who are still controlled by ego and who are acting unconsciously."

So now that we have had our "ah-ha" moment, let's get down to the real work. According to the Mayo Clinic, they have provided a few suggestions to helping bouts of anger.

Ten Tips To Tame Your Temper:

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

6. Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.

Remember, blowing a gasket, just ain't cool. So take a chill-pill and,

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