Tuesday, July 28, 2015

How To Combat Insecurity And Ignore Judgement

  Battling Insecurity

There is a common theme of stereotype that many people feel, that those that are "insecure" generally look a specific way, come from a challenged background, or have had limited resources which places them at a disadvantage. But the truth of the matter is, "insecurity" can manifest in a variety of different ways from the people you would least expect.

Let us first define what is meant by being "insecure". In an effort to reduce my need to be overly scholastic, I thought I would make an attempt to define "insecurity", based on my own observations and journey. First it should be noted that the term insecurity as per the dictionary states that it is the "uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence". 

Once again, I do not profess to be an expert, but I have encountered, and counseled many young women in particular, ranging from ages 18 years of age to age 40 (even older) who have had challenges with coping with a lack of self confidence or low self-esteem. We could hypothesize that many came from broken homes, or had a lack of education, had minimal family/friend support, or were even isolated in the midst of a greater social status with many opportunities. The point is, there are no specific indicators that the average non-professional person can deduct, by looking over at someone at a glance and determine why he or she may be feeling that their circumstances are less desirable than  others. 

What About The Men?

Let's not seclude men for a moment. They too feel insecure about an array of circumstances that would have them feel that their masculinity has been challenged.

Whether it be a situation with career or finances, family status, or physique, men can be subjected to the same plight of encountering circumstances that challenge their self-confidence.

Both men and women react and respond in a multitude of reactionary ways resulting from such unsurety, that can serve as a detriment to themselves and others.

 Symptoms Of Insecurity

Here are a few indicators of behavioral symptoms from insecurity, taken from an excerpt of psychotherapist, Dr. Gerald Stein:

  • 1. Are you able to give a compliment? Even more important, can you graciously accept one? The latter behavior tends to be difficult for someone who is unsure of himself. He might blush or become flustered. Alternatively, he is prone to dismiss the validity of the praise, instead telling you why it isn’t true. What should one do if complimented? Smile and say “Thank you.” Nothing more.
  • 2. The ability to maintain eye contact is hard for many individuals who lack confidence. They will turn away or look down, but rarely hold the gaze of the other by looking into his or her eyes.
  • 3. The self-doubting person tends to apologize when no apology is necessary. It is as if she expects to be reproached or is afraid to give offense; so, she prophylactically tries to excuse any possible mistake to avoid such a response.
  • 4. Answering a question with an upward inflection of the voice has been done by everyone. The person being questioned doesn’t have certainty about his answer, so he replies with a tone betraying his insecurity.
  • 5. Men and women who are uncomfortable with sharing personal information for fear of being judged will oft-times turn the conversation to a different topic, away from anything that might make them vulnerable or reveal too much. This is also called “changing the subject.”
  • 6. One way of inoculating yourself against criticism is to joke at your own expense. Do this often and others may conclude you believe you are flawed.
Fight The Urge To Compare

A common theme to people's insecurity has much to do with other people. While making a comparison of others seems to be a natural human response, it should not be the ideal to quantifying one's life and how they fair in it.

Embrace Your Talents 

Security in one's self first starts by eliminating the judgments of others. You literally have to remove the intensified concern of acceptance from others and embrace your authentic gifts, talents and abilities. If you should find that you are different from others....GREAT. Embrace it, as you are a step further than you think.

Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

We all have a combination of both. Build upon those things that you would like to change within yourself based on your own definition of you. Excel in those things that already make you unique and stand out in the crowd.

Embrace The Unknown

Be totally real with yourself, humble yourself, and accept the results of a new way of thinking and being. Know your worth and your purpose. It's okay to test it out. That is the beauty of your journey.

Expect Success

I consistently tell people that you are a galactic being, which means that there are no limitations to your success. When someone does try to interfere with your success, flee, quickly. You do not need any negative energy surrounding you. Thinking positively about what is to come, will produce the road that will take you exactly where you wish to be, and are destined to be.

***While there may always be an area one fights against security, that is absolutely a part of the process, but the key is to never let it interfere with your overall greatness. Be well!***

Now, Go Ahead & Click The Orange Button: