Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I Don't Like You And That's Okay

by Abeni Bamidele

There is nothing worse than having to put on a fake smile to folks you simply do not like. I notice that it happens all of the time, and have often wondered why a person would select not to obtain their authentic feelings towards others at least to the extent that if you are not feeling them...don't smile at them.

I'm not suggesting that one be rude towards another.

However I can say for my own self that I don't find myself smiling at someone when there is nothing endearing that I am feeling towards them. I should add that I am never rude.  But if I am looked at by another, who then proceeds to give me a grimace of a smile and my spirit tells me it is not sincere, I will not then grope for acceptance by reciprocating and putting on a phony smile in return. It takes up energy that should be utilized for a more positive situation. Let us just not like each other collectively and move on.

If only we would first start with the comforts of our own selves and being, to the extent that we control our day to day expressions. "Grinning-and-skinning" generally isn't attractive. For the most part, we know when someone is being artificial towards us. We can also deduct that others can readily tell when we ourselves are being artificial towards them. Which brings me to the question....

Why do we utilize the deception of "emotional" pleasantries when the situation frankly does not call for it?

According to the article "The Psychology of Emotions in Buddhist Perspective" by Dr. Padmasiri de Silva he states that:

An emotion occurs generally when an object is considered as something attractive or repulsive. There is a felt tendency impelling people towards suitable objects and impelling them to move away from unsuitable or harmful objects. The individual also perceives and judges the situation in relation to himself as attractive or repulsive. While a person feels attraction for agreeable material shape, he feels repugnance for disagreeable material shapes. An individual thus possessed of like and dislike approaches pleasure-giving objects and avoids painful objects.

What the good doctor states makes a lot of sense. Yet if this is the case, what is the deal with putting on disguises for other people with twisted smirks particularly in a world that demonstrates itself as having disdain for others on a regular basis?

Well now, if I had one solid answer for you, I will have solved the world's problems.

My series of thoughts on this simply prompted me to write to you about preserving some authenticity when it comes to your emotional expressions. That would go for each expression that you have. When you are joyful, be joyful. When you are saddened, be saddened if you so choose. (Although it is probably best to minimize emotion all together).

But for goodness sake! The next time someone stands before you with a cracked grin that doesn't mean a damn thing, don't give them one in return. Just proceed with your natural course. You will feel a whole lot better when you embrace the authentic you. Don't worry...They'll be alright!

You Are Uniquely And Brilliantly Adorned.

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